The Perfect Mix Tape, Segue #3: Fixing the Plumbing

By Joe Biel
microcosmpublishing.com

I tried to like the perfect mix tape, segue #3. I had high hopes, especially after reading Bipedal By Pedal, a cool little zine about Critical Mass by Microcosm co-founder, Joe Biel.

Joe comes from a broken home and grew up with other kids from broken homes who started crappy bands before they went and had “accidental babies,” thus perpetuating the cycle of myopic recklessness their parents fell prey to.

Taking the Nature side of the Nature versus Nurture argument to heart—and after stringing us along for 10 pages—he finally springs it: Joe went and got a vasectomy, he fixed his plumbing.

Aside from the cool cycling graphics (bicycle seats supposedly cause impotence, the graphic pun herein), Joe’s brave decision to follow through on getting his boys clipped is the only heartening news I can salvage from what could have been a provocative installment of The Perfect Mix Tape.

Making a medical commitment to limiting population growth is a noble thing and I don’t mean to disrespect that aspect of Joe’s story. But when a grown adult drones on in cringingly poor English about his new sperm-free lease on life and his lame roommates, it becomes quite the endurance test. Stick to writing about bikes, Joe, one of the two things between your legs that does work.

-Matthew Monte

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